> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://www.itsthespark.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # The Hair that Never Listened - URL: https://www.itsthespark.com/the-hair-that-never-listened/ - Published: 2026-09-21T00:01:19.000Z - Updated: 2026-09-21T00:01:18.000Z - Description: I grew up misfit and a visual mess. Trying to hide the most obvious feature about me was not an easy task, but I had it done by all means necessary. - Author: Stella Holland - Tags: Personal Essay, #active, Issue 1: Fitting In, Volume 4 In an extended family of 18, I am the only one who doesn’t have straight hair. From the day I was born, thick spirals have shot out from my scalp. My parents thought this was a phase I would grow out of in a few years. Unfortunately for me, they were wrong. Instead, my hair became a subject of experimental testing. Once, when I was five years old, my grandmother brought me to get a haircut. The result, according to my mother, was awful. The explanation was simple: “They just didn’t know how to deal with curly hair”. Shortly after, my hair was trimmed further into a bob and I resembled half the boys in my kindergarten class. But this wasn’t the end of it, and many years of my early childhood were mistake after mistake. Family photo shoots were always a nightmare for me too. They always began with the same routine of being put in front of a mirror and having a brush dragged through my tangled hair so I “didn’t look like a mess”. The situation in school didn’t feel any better either. It became obvious when I reached 4th grade, and I began to notice everyone's hair in photos. While my friends’ hair lay neatly straight down next to their shoulders, mine seemed to have a mind of its own and invaded everyone's personal space. From then on, I started to tie it back in a tidy ponytail for school even though by the end of the day, it would result in an insufferable headache. > For me, that was just a small price to pay to keep my hair back and away. So, when I was 12, I decided to put an end to it all. I agreed to two keratin treatments (hair straightening chemicals) on my hair in the span of two weeks. Finally, my hair was normal just like all my friends. But the joy of having straight hair only lasted for two months, though, before the curls started growing back. My hair was straight at the bottom but a curly mess on top. My days of straight hair were over. I was left with no choice but to return to desperately trying to slick it down before school every morning. One morning, during my daily 30-minute battle between my curls and the hairbrush, I started scrolling Tiktok to distract myself from the mess in the mirror looking back at me. In contrast, on my phone, I saw another girl with curly hair, but it wasn’t curly like *my* hair. Her hair didn’t sprawl out in every direction. It didn't look tangled, and it certainly didn't look like an unmanageable problem to her. Her hair was beautiful. As I read through the comments on her video, I was amazed at the reaction she was getting. Viewers were *oohing* and *ahhing* over her hair. I scrolled further down her page, completely consumed in my new discovery. Her videos were filled with products and brands I had never heard of before. Marc Anthony Leave-In-Conditioner, Ouai Curl Cream, Doux Mousse – it was like learning a whole new language designed just for me. The more I explored her content, the more I learned. I realised that my hair should only be brushed wet and learnt that curl cream was "going to be my best friend". Gel will keep my curls from getting frizzy, and conditioner is not to be overlooked. For the first time, I was learning to work with my hair, not against it. On soaking wet hair, I apply leave-in conditioner, next I rake curl cream through my hair, and finally, I lock in the curls with gel. My hair still won’t fit into the yearbook photo frame, nor will it lie flat down my shoulders. Yet, I don't pick up the hair tie.