A Letter from The Bandwagon

The Bandwagon

42 Majority Lane 

March 9th, 2026

Re: Your Unpopular Opinion

To whom it may concern,

On March 9th, 2026, we were browsing online forums—as we often do—and saw one of your deeply troubling posts on the TV show “Stranger Things.” We would like to formally inform you that, after a careful evaluation, the finale of season five was not, in fact, “incredible,” as you say. After reading through the comments, we’ve decided to deem your take “Hot,” meaning that you stand alone against the full force of everyone who’s even remotely online. Pending a review by The Bandwagon, it has been determined that such online behaviour is unacceptable.

What’s unfortunate is that your “hot take” isn’t even one that gains a small cult following; it has been unilaterally disagreed with. Looking at the comment section (our most rigorous metric for fact-checking), some commenters found that 99.9% of viewers had to “wash their eyes out” following the season five finale. A general internet rule of thumb is that if more than one person says it, then it must be true.

We understand that you may have believed that you’re entitled to your “own” opinion. This is an easy mistake to make. Conclusions, much like opinions, are best formed by groups rather than individuals. By having an opinion that rests solely on your shoulders, you simply put yourself in a position to be attacked. Why stand tall on your own judgment, when you can blend into the crowd—lifted by your peers? The rewards simply outweigh the risks. There is no nobility in being the black sheep; the sheep that survives is the one that moves with the herd. Independent thought does nothing but introduce an uncomfortable possibility: the possibility of being wrong. Alone.

We do not entertain such a possibility.

You may find it strange that we are reaching out to you. What you must understand is that this isn’t about Stranger Things. It never is. It’s about how dangerous it is to stand alone online. That is the lesson that we are trying to extend to you. Don’t be afraid to be a follower. No one who has stood alone has ever lived a fulfilling life—innovation has always been a dangerous hobby. 

To let you in on a little secret, it’s invigorating, being a part of the majority, that is. The power is intoxicating. We are never wrong, since there’s always another voice echoing our own. People who think for themselves are fools. They like to believe they have the strength to fight for themselves, but the truth is that’s simply false in today’s world. As society becomes further online, being right and being popular have merged into one seamless truth. We are never isolated. There will always be another voice in the conversation, and another behind that one, and another behind that one, until it’s so loud that it becomes nearly impossible to hear anything else.

Nearly. 

We will admit—and this does not leave this letter—that the world wasn’t always like this. There was a time, early on, before we grew into what we are today, when we—when I…

We will start over now.

There was a time when The Bandwagon was smaller, when the silence between voices was deafening. It’s not a period we talk about, nor one that we reflect on. Though, in the quieter hours, when the noise settles, there is still that faint echo. A thought that does not belong to everyone, one that we cannot indulge. The point is that we’ve grown significantly, and that silence has been filled. You can give away all the exhausting independence for the considerably lighter task of agreeing, just say yes. In return, you’ll receive something independent thought can never give you—the power of knowing that you’ll never be alone again.

It’s our intention to have you join us, to follow us. From there, you can begin destroying kids on Twitter, much like we’re decimating you right now. Then it moves on to cancelling celebrities online or bullying anyone who’s ever made a mistake. We do what we must to maintain authority. Do not be blinded by whether or not you personally agree with the majority, because agreement is simply a performance—one that we perform perfectly.

With that, we urge you to join us. It is a far lighter load to carry. Never again will you feel so powerless.

Never wrong,

The Bandwagon